Monday, January 28, 2008

How you like them apples Madden?

"I'm a hustler homey, you a customer croney/Got some, dirt on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?" - Jay Z

As designated Local Sports Guru Agent Hiro, I will be covering the Skins, Bullets, DC United, Mason Hoops, NVSL Division II Adult League Soccer, the baseball Team from The Sandlot, Rick Moranis and the Little Giants, Ty Webb's historic run on the back nine at the Bushwood Invitational, and pretty much everything else sporting that is not from that God awful shit hole excuse of a city Boston. Not only that, my posts will be kicked off with an appropriate song lyric or quote from pop culture that either pertains to the story, or summarizes my feelings on it.

So what better way to kick off my first post? Ethan "Red Scare" Albright has been added to the NFC Pro Bowl team as the long snapper. You heard me right, Ethan fuckin' Albright. The same long snapper who a certain pro football video game mogul rated as the worst player in his game in 2007.

What have we learned from all this? Several things:

1) John Madden is obsolete. Not as a football analyst, as a human.

2) Redskins > You

3) Shaun Alexander's street cred just dropped to an unquantifiable negative integer, partially because he was the coverboy of Madden '07, mostly because you can drive an H1 through that gap in his teeth. Remember, it's not the "cool Fab Five Jalen Rose gap in the teeth" gap either. Thus the negatives.

Yours in blood,
Agent Hiro

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