Monday, February 11, 2008

We've Moved!!!

From the creative geniuses behind Sid B.R.E.A.M. comes
Made 'em Jump Like Rod Strickland. Same great / borderline inappropriate content but now with a semi-easier URL to type. Not to mention the fact that the name covers two fo the three mythical "3 W's" - The Wizards and Wu-Tang. The third W, which covers where we're from and who we be will go unspoken to protect the innocent, or in this case keep us from doing 3-5 for some "incidents" where the statute of limitations hasn't expired yet.

So long story short, add Made 'em Jump Like Rod Strickland to your "favorites" and check back daily, cause there is a good chance we'll actually post blogs...semi-occasionally.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Rex, Rex, It's Time to Have Sex

American model, actor, television personality, statesman, former porn star, and rapper Simon Rex (who has actually held all of those aforementioned "jobs" but one - hint, its not not porn star) made the mistake of being caught smooching with Paris Hilton.

For the most part, I could care less about Simon-to-the-Rex. I will admit, however, that he had one of the best "Cribs" episodes ever. His house, literally, was on par with some of the hovels I work near in the South East area of Chocolate City. On the other hand, we have Paris Hilton and her wonky eye. I mean, seriously...when she is having threesomes, do the dudes get confused who she is looking at because her eyes are looking at both dude's taints at the same time?

Even if I didn't already have gonorrhea, I wouldn't touch her...wait a minute...who am I kidding...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Kirsten Dunst Checks Into Rehab on Non-Chomper Related Issue

Everyone's favorite busted grill has checked herself into rehab, not to get her teetheses fixed as one would probably venture to guess, but because apparently she can't handle her booze.

First of's alcohol, man up and drink 800 beers like the rest of us - in the quiet dignity of your efficiency apartment watching "Can't Hardly Wait" 37 times on a loop. Second of all...Sweet Jebus, why would you ever want to stop drinking? Booze is the only thing that makes life and ugly people tolerable. Finally, 975% of the people in your "craft" have some sort of alcohol problem. But do you see Corbin Bernsen going to rehab? don't really see him at all. Maybe someone should check on him to make sure he isn't passed out on his back so he doesn't choke on his own vomit.

Be a man - or in this case a kind of creepy looking saggy boobicled woman - and buy Tommy Gavin's book "I Drink Paint Thinner" on how to become a functioning alcoholic.

Regulators…mount up.

Agent Beero

Monday, February 4, 2008

Jessica Alba Beero Breaks Up With Boyfriend, Comes Crawling Back to Me...

It appears as though my ex has had a change of heart and has left her good for nothing boyfriend. She stopped by my luxury single family home in the hills outside the city last night, begging for me to take her back.

After much soul searching and gnashing of teeth - and against my better judgement - I've decided to take her back and make an honest woman out of her.

By the by, we're registered at Bed, Bath, & Beyond and MVC.

Yours in wedded bliss and eventually bitter divorce,
Agent Beero

Thank You Big Baby Jesus!!!

Other than the day I got a call back for a guest spot on "227" as Jackee's love interest (damn you Carl Anthony Payne II), I have never been more elated about a potential tv or movie related happening.

My insider Hollywood sources (e.g. other blogs) are telling me that a movie version of "Arrested Development" is in the works!

Sweet day of days...Pack up the frozen banana stand, pawn the segway, cancel your membership in the magician's guild...the Bluth's are back, and they're out for blood.

Friday, February 1, 2008

He's Gayer Than a Handbag Full of Rainbows

Obviously there is only one thing to say, "Blessed screaming Jesus on a whole-wheat goddamn cracker."

This picture of Wyclef Jean is creepy on so many levels.

  1. Jean is holding dolls.
  2. Jean is holding dolls.
  3. SHe is dressed like some sort of Puma sponsored priest
  4. SHe appears to be flicking of the camera with HEr left hand, almost as if saying, "Fuck you. I'm creepy. I know it. I love boys, what of it??

Emmitt Smith, are you smarter than a fifth grader?

Absolutely not. Hilarious video from The Jimmy Kimmel Show the other night. Sound quality is shitty. Comedic quality is top notch.

Yours in blood,
Agent Hiro